`welcome to my world my fellows,,

[Kjara von Rael]

Mood; Unsure
Listening to; Here I Am, Bryan Adams

[/u]

Icon and Quote of the Entry


"Love is like the ocean. Unpredictable and knowing. One second it's beautiful, the next it's ugly." - unkown

___________________________

September 20
11:23 PM

Dear Kei,
Yes. That is your name now. Well, I figured I'd start a diary, so here I go.

Well, to start, I've been real worried. Sammy, my flipping best friend, just got dumped by my so called "brother", Ezra Hart. They love each other. Well, from waht Ezra says, he don't love Sam anymore. Something must have happened. But it bugs me seeing him all sad and stuff. I'm trying my best to cheer him up, but it just isnt working. Ezra is everything to him, and nothing can take his pain away. It's so frustrating. Jay is worrying me too. Her and her brother argue a lot. And Jay.. I hope she stays away from Mort. I don't want her ending up like me. I don't want my friends hurt. They mean too much to me. The pain is physical when I see them sad. It hurts me knowing theya re in pain and suffering.

If only I could take it all away..

Adrien and Dani are doing good I guess. He doesn't talk much anymore. Blair is doing fine with sweet ol' Alice. I love that little blood sucker to death. -laughs- It just brings back some memories.


So yeah, once upon a time I was pregnant by Mortimer Edison. Biggest mistake of my life. I was supposed to wait for Stefan. He said three months. That's all he needed. He "loved" me and wanted to be with me, but was scared to do commitment, and wanted a little bit of freedom. And he told me to go find someone better than him. Well I thought I did. Guess not. But I lost the kid. It was a boy. I named him Ezamuel Kastefan Jadilyn. After all my friends put together. Big mouthful, eh? But, I lost him. It was actually my fault. Someone had a knife to my stomach and I forgot it was there, so I leaped... and you can guess the rest. But I was best, because I wasn't ready to be a mother.

But more later, I'm flipping tired. And my back hurts. I shifted too much today.

Later Kei.

To Do List

Kill Mort
Kill Mort
Get Ezra back
Make Sammy Happy

[/size][/blockquote]

Kjara Ranelle von Rael

[/font][/size][/center][/b]

[Kjara von Rael]

Mood; Loving, Aggravation, Hate
Listening to; Angel, Natasha Bedingfield

[/u]

Icon and Quote of the Entry


"Tell him, tell him that the sun and moon rise in his eyes; reach out to him. And whisper tender words so soft and sweet; hold him close to feel his heart beat. Love will be the gift you give yourself." - Celine Dion

[/font][/size]

___________________________[/center]

September 25
5:23 PM

Kei,
Well, there was this big fucking arguement today over Ezra. I overheard Ross and Daryl talkinga bout him, in a bad way sorta, so I jumped in with Sammi. Took up for Ezra, saying he wasn't completly heartless, just that something was seriously wrong with him. Ezra, would never, ever ask me to have sex with him. The real Ezra anyways. But when Ross said something about him beign an ass, and I compared myself with him, and then out of know where, Stefan poped up..

It took me a second to see he was here.. he was being such an ass to me. We started arguing. Cara asked me in my head (she was a wolf at the moment) and asked if I liked him, cause my heart fluttered, but I forgot that Stefan could read minds.. and I told her "not like.. love..", I forgot he read minds until he read mind and said, "I can hear you." and I told him to stay out of my head. We started arguing again, and then we hot ontot he topic of me and him.. something about me feeling something cause he wouldn't be in my life, and that's when I gave up and stormed off.

He came after me, and so did Cara, and as I went to take a drink of some liquor, Stefan snatched it out of my hands. I tried to get it back, but he kept it away from me. Then he finally drunk all of it and chunked the bottle. He told me he quit doing drugs and drinking, all so he could be with me. But I couldnt take it. They said they could help me with my problems, but how can you get over the loss of a brother and a child? But then..as I started to walk away, he said that we could have a kid..a "sexy kid", and name is Ben.. but before that, when he said that he quit all that stuff for me, I was like, "How am I supposed to believe you..?" Wanna know what his answer was? That if I loved him, I would.. and he was right. I do love him. But I ignored him on the porch and huffed, and he was all like, "Dont huff at me." and I got all ill and said I can huff to anyone I want that's when he told me to shut up and listen to him, then he pinned me against the railing of the porch. And then we talked and he finally asked me to be his.. and I said yes.. then I asked him why he said if I was going to hang around Ezra, he wouldn't be able to be near me.. and that hurts so bad because no matter what, Ezra will be my brother. Then he kissed me, and you know what went on from there. Well, we didn't go far, but just teased each other until I couldn't take it. He had me backe dup against the pole..and I was hopeless.

I'm still worried about Sam. And Dai.. yeah I know, that's weird, eh? The one who tortured me, killed my child (even though it was my fault), hated me to no end.. I've been helping her.. and she came to me, of all the people to ask about her situation with Mort.. haha.. it's so weird how Dai and I are getting along. In a way at least. I mean the other day, she leaned on me.. and like.. yeah. It's so weird. But I'm out. I have studies to do, and someone is calling me. I'll talk to you later.

See ya around Kei.



To Do List

Get Ezra back
Make Sammy Happy
Get Dai with Mort
Keep Cara away from Mort
and Blake
And Jay.

[/blockquote][/size]

Kjara Ranelle von Rael

[/b][/font]

[Kjara von Rael]

Mood; Guilty
Listening to; Truly, Madly, Deeply

[/u]

It's been at least a month since I've wrote. I've been caught up with school work. It's going to be hard to put everything down, but I'll get to it.

-I found out I was a demon
-Sammii has dissapeared
-Cara got pregnant by a squirrel
-I had sex with Daryl
-Parker told me he loved me
-I met Emma, Parker's daughter
-and met Alice, Blair's daughter
-Dai and Mort are together
-Ezra is sortakinda back to normal.

But yea. I don't have time to make this all pretty like I usually do. I gave Daryl and Parker their Christmas presents early. Parker's is a necklace and Daryl's is a bracelet. They were handmade. My adopted father is a silversman, and I asked him two months back to make them for me. And he had the words "Promessa" careved into the back of each one in cursive. It means "Promise" in Italian. Ezra's is a cletic ring, and Sam's is a dino plushie. It's so adorable. I have Adriens necklace, it's a carved necklace with a wolf and indian man carved in. It's goregous. I'm stilling looking for Cara's, Jay's, Blair's, and Alice's. Its hard work. But, I'm out now!

[/font][/blockquote][/size]

[Kjara von Rael]

Dani's gift- ring- its blinging.
Cara's- stuffed wolf- it's going to make her laugh
Jay's-necklace- i love the colors of this
and finally, Stefans's.. this is the first one it says "I love you forever" on the back.
Morts- book- now this is hilarious!
Dai's - stuffed- It's a Bannana Slug. Since she likes fruit.

So far, that's all I could afford and think for everyone. I hope they like them.

[/font][/size]