Never Too 'cliche

[Daryl Bailey]

^{Date: 22, September 2008
Time: 07:32}

Jay and I fought last night. I don't remember a lot of it...I don't even remember how it started. I had been drinking bodka again. That stuff really kicks in fast. Kaden had some vodka, too, but did he get in a fight? No. He went and made out with some girl.

Anyway, that's off topic. So I remember drinking bodka and laughing about God knows what, and then Jay's there yelling at me, and I'm yelling back. I think we went into the kitchen, because I remember leaning against the fridge. It was cold, and somewhat shocked me back to my senses.

Now the gist of the fight in the kitchen I remember pretty well. Jay said that everything was her fault. Momma and Dad's fight, my drinking, my wings turning...ah shit! My wings!

Yeah...they're a darker shade alright...damnit.

Anyway, so I told her it wasn't her fault, not in the least. She was just looking for an escape, and she found one. I didn't find mine. I told her it was my fault. Her falling, Momma and Dad's fights...and then I covered my mouth. She was NOT supposed to know that! So she went off on me, needless to say. She said it wasn't my fault, it was hers. And if she hadn't drank then, if she had thought about me, I might not be drinking now.

So I yelled at her. I told her about the illusions I cast on Momma and Dad...though I'm not sure how well I explained it, my voice being slurred and all. But I tried to tell her it was my fault, anyway. Who would have guessed she wouldn't believe me?

We yelled a bit more, going back and forth. People tried to tell us to shut up, but I just turned around and yelled right back at them. After screaming for a little while with Jay over whose fault it was, she told me to shut up, I think. I said "ladies first", and she said "then go ahead, Chris".

Obviously, that pissed me off. I stood up and stormed out, without saying a word. I think the fight sobered me up a bit, because I was able to fly long enough to make it to France. Hell, I could actually fly, and that in itself was a huge accomplishment under...such circumstances.

So, I made it to France. Not a long flight, but tiring anyway. I spotted myself a decent, shitty alleyway and rested. I have to admit, I did think about suicide. What kind of decent, sweet sister wanted a drunk fool for a brother? Certainly not mine. But, too exhausted and drunk to do much about it that night, I laid down, covered myself with my now-darker wings, and fell asleep.

I don't know how long I layed on that frigid cement. Long enough, let me tell you. I heard a voice calling to me a bit, telling me to wake up. But come on, if you thought yourself as worthless and a failure to your sister and wanted to die, would you really respond to a voice calling you home? I should say not.

So I didn't move. I hoped they would think me dead and just leave. But, of course it had to be KJ to the rescue, and we all know how well she gives up. She doesn't.

Eventually she got me off of the ground, telling me Jay thought I had killed myself for her. I bet she didn't know how spot-on she was. Anyway, KJ quite literally dragged me home. I'll tell you, if I hadn't expanded my wings enough to catch the air current, it would have been miserable for both of us. But, she got me home. Good for her. She pushed me into the house and told me to go see Jay, that we needed to talk things over calmly and quietly.

Calmly and quietly my ass.

So I followed the sound of her voice...poor thing was crying. And all because of me. God...what had I started?

I tried to comfort her, and for a second, I thought it worked. She clinged to me as if I was an object from a dream, and I would vanish any second. Maybe I would have, if she hadn't held onto my flesh and tee shirt so tightly. I told her that, if I was to stay, I needed her to promise me two things. She said she couldn't, not until she knew what they were. So, albeit reluctantly, I asked her to promise we'd never bring this up again, and that we would never fight over whose fault it was.

She wouldn't promise me. She said she'd try, but she couldn't promise. Damnit, why couldn't she? So I walked toward the door, telling her that I knew she'd be a good girl without me. If I stayed, I would just cause her a mess of torture. So I said I would leave, if she wanted. She said she didn't want me to. That she couldn't promise, but she didn't want me to leave. "You're only 15", was her excuse.

Now, what kind of excuse is that? I'm 15, yes, but I've been through a lot. I can take care of myself.

Back to the program. She tells me that she doesn't want me to leave, but I told her that, if we can't be together without fighting, maybe we should just be apart. She and I went on and on about that, and at a point, I got to the doorway. Of course she flung herself at me, startling me a bit and making my current headache worse. But I didn't care. My sister wanted me to stay. So, after grabbing some ice cream, I told her that if we fight one more time like we did just then, that would settle it. I'd leave. I said I didn't think I could take seeing her in such a state, and all because of something I did. And I don't think I can. And I most certainly will not.

[/font]

[Daryl Bailey]

^{Date: 12, October 2008
Time: who gives a crap?}

I can't believe I actually brought this thing to Italy with me. I haven't written in it in what, 20 days? And man, has a lot happened since then. I'm not sure of the order, though, so I'll just go by what I remember.

First off, Blair has a daughter. Ally, I call her. Sweet little thing. Problem is, she screams. Loud.

KJ, Blair, Me, and Ally went flying a couple weeks ago. Blair rode KJ while I carried Ally. But then KJ pretended to drop Blair or something, and it scared Ally. She screamed, loud enough to make my wings go rigid and for me to go deaf. I think I lost consciousness for a bit, because when I came to, KJ was holding me and apologizing like mad. She kept asking me something, but I couldn't hear her. I looked for Ally, afraid I had dropped her. She was okay, apparently. It took some time for Jay to heal me, but I can hear again!

Then...Ross and I got in a fight...Ross told me that he and Ezra had...slept together. He said he was so sorry, and it was his fault, and he told me not to do anything rash. He still loved me, and he didn't know why he did it. He thought I was mad at him. I wasn't. I could never be mad at my Rossaroo. Never. I don't care if he killed my own sister. I don't care if he killed my own parents. I don't care if he killed Ezra himself. It is so hard to get mad at that kid, let alone for any extensive period of time.

But he thought I was mad at him. I wasn't. I was mad at Ezra. How dare that son of a bitch have sex with my boyfriend before me?! I threatened to kill him. I was serious, too. Ross held me back though, and I snapped. I think I truly lost my sanity for a bit. I started laughing, saying I was going to kill Ezra if it was the last thing I do. But Rossaroo wouldn't let me take three steps without dragging him along. So I made the best of my situation and cast Ezra into an illusion of his worst fear. He started out laughing, strangely, but eventually it grew to panicked screams. Apparently Sammii had died or something. So I sat there laughing, still trying to get to Ezra.

Then Ross broke up with me. I was convinced I was dreaming, or not there. I kept laughing. Even when KJ came to me and tried to kill me for doing what I did to Ezra, I laughed. Finally, I let Ezra go. I walked inside, still plenty giddy. After all, what is a nightmare compared to real life?

Then I ran into Annya. I suddenly realized I wasn't dreaming. That everything was all too real. Ross had broken up with me. I hurt the man I loved. I tortured Ezra, nearly killed him. I had done all of those terrible things, and I couldn't take a one of them back.

So Annya helped me out. She comforted me, and, without thinking, I kissed her. I felt a bit bad, but I was too dazed to care. She pulled away, but we couldn't resist each other for long. We...we had sex. take that, Ross...

I don't regret it all that much, actually. I still love Ross, and we got back together soon afterward (he obviously doesn't know about it), but it was...nice...for a change. To be with someone, and a girl at that. I'm insane, aren't I? To choose an option other than females.

Anyway, after Ross and I got back together, not much happened until the other night. I apparently went to The Secret...I don't even remember going. From what Asher tells me, Jay was there, and we got in a fight. I don't remember a smidge of that entire day or the day after. The first thing I remember, besides going for a walk and apparently entering The Secret, is laying on the floor. I was in pain...a whole lot of pain. And I was bleeding. My head hurt so bad. I asked Asher if Ezra had hit me. He sounded upset, as though I had asked that thousands of times before. And then Ross was there, trying to comfort me. I wanted to sleep...I wanted to sleep so badly. Ross promised to have sex with me if I stayed awake, but I just couldn't. So I fell asleep, and when I woke up, Ross was gone and Jay was there. Asher left us alone, and Jay and Parker healed me up.

Parker left, thank God. It's not that I don't like him...it just isn't fair. How can he be gay, how can he get pregnant, and not be a fallen angel?! It isn't fair...

Anyway, Jay explained the fight to me, apparently understanding why I didn't remember. She said that we had come to an agreement, that it really was her fault for everything back home, and at least partially her fault for my mistakes. So we fought again. I mean, how could I ever come to the conclusion that it was her fault?

So we fought some more, and I left. I grabbed a single bag that I always have packed, just for occasions such as this. Maybe that's why I haven't been able to find this journal in awhile...

Anyway, I grabbed my bag and flew until I couldn't fly anymore. I wound up here, in L'Aquila, Abruzzo, Italy. I'm in the Hotel Castello, complete with free WiFi service. Now I've just got to log onto AIM and tell Jay I'm in Italy and not to come chasing after me...


--------------

Crap...I'm logged on right now and Jay isn't on. Blair is, though, which I guess is a good thing. She can't fly down and drag me home, and I can actually have a conversation with her without it being awkward, turning into a fight, or worrying about her trying to find out my IP address so she can hunt me down and slaughter me for leaving her in that room crying...

I miss Jay, but I am not going back to Winterthorne.

Now all I need to do is call text Ross...

Life sucks.

So do I.

[/font]

[Daryl Bailey]

^{Date: 1, November 2008
Time: 14:18}

I'm back. Blair convinced me to go back to Winterthorne. And Jay...and Ross...and Melodii...I guess everyone convinced me.

When I got on AIM and Blair was on, I told her I was in Italy. She got upset and asked why, and when I told her it was because I fought with Jay, she said, if it was her, she would try to work it out. Not only that, she and Alice missed me. She told me she hated being the only one that saw Ezra for who he really was. She said that she thinks we are the only two who can see him, and she missed fighting him with me. And she told me Ally was saying my name a lot and crying. I feel so guilty for leaving them like that.

I met Melodii while I was in Italy. I, being the idiot I am, was walking down the street and ran right into her. She and I seemed to hit it off almost immediately. She saw I was upset, and after we talked for awhile, we found out we both go to Winterthorne, and both of our lives suck. ^.^ So she decided to take me swimming. We dove under, and I found out I could use my wings to propel me deeper under water. I...I didn't want to come up. I refused to come up. My chest burned, everything hurt, but I still didn't try to surface. Why should I, when I knew I hurt the only people I love anymore? But Mel dragged me up. We talked some more...and then Ross texted me.

Ross. Poor guy. I told him where I was, and he wanted me to come back. I told him I couldn't, I didn't want to. He got upset at me and turned his phone off. I tried to tell him I was going to come home, but he wouldn't listen. And then Jay texted me. Boy, was I popular that day. She, too, begged me to come home, and finally I agreed. So, Mel sort of in tow, we left for Germany.

When we got there, Ross found me holding hands with Melodii. I told him it wasn't what he thought. It wasn't. I thought of her as a friend. I still think of her as just a friend. I was trying to comfort her, and I thought she was trying to comfort me. But apparently, for her, it was what it looked like. The girl fell in love with me after a day. Two, tops. Apparently farries fall easy. Just my luck. So Ross yelled at Mel and she took off. I tried to go after her, but she wouldn't listen to me.

Now, time to bring Brock and Annya into the mix. You remember Annya, don't you? The sympathy sex girl from the day I tried to drive Ezra crazy, and he tried to drive me crazy. Apparently she had gotten engaged to some big time cowboy kid. Brock, he said his name was. He looked the typical cowboy. The slight country drawl, a cowboy hat, and rugged but still handsome skin. He kinda scared me.

Annya had been feeling sick, she said, and she thought she was pregnant. So at first, Brock thought it was his kid, though, he said it was too early yet to know. Then Annya looked at me. She thought...she thought the baby was mine. It had to be mine. Oh God...I was going to be a dad! A freaking dad to someone else's kid! Some girl who was engaged, and pregnant with my KID!

I was terrified. Absolutely terrified. Brock was worse. He blew up. He rushed at me, tried to kill me. He kept yelling at me, and I let him. I deserved it, I know. I just kept dreading what would happen if Jay and/or Ross came in. After a few good punches, Annya managed to drag Brock away from me. I don't know what went on in the kitchen between those two, and I don't care to ever find out.

I immediately crawled behind the couch. I sobbed. How was I going to explain to Ross? To Jay?! Ross would dump me. Jay would disown me. I just knew they would. And who should come in but...not Jay...not Ross...BOTH. Both of them came in. And both found me cowering behind the couch. Ross kept asking what was wrong. I told him nothing. I hated lying to him. But the longer he didn't know, the better.

Leave it to the idiot Brock to tell them. Brock started screaming at me again. Ross screamed back. I cried. It got so hectic. I thought they were all going to grab a limb and rip me apart.

But here I am...with both arms, both legs, both wings, and one head. Barely.

Ross left. Annya left. I was so upset. But then Brock, the drunk jerk, decided to try and rape Jay. Mel had come back by then. She and I tried to protect Jay, but we had the crap beat out of us. Brock nearly killed us. I think he did, for a minute there. Eventually he left, though, thank God. Gave up on her. But Jay didn't give up on us. She was furious. She kept yelling at us. But what did she expect me to do?! Stand by and watch the guy rape her?! NEVER!!

[/b]

She tried to heal us up, but she could only go so far before she passed out in the bedroom. Someone...I think it was Asher and Xio...called an ambulance for Mel and me. We spent the good part of a week in there. She kept saying she was going to leave for Ireland. That we couldn't just be friends. She loved me, and if I couldn't love her, she was going to leave. What was I supposed to do? Give up Ross and date a girl I only liked as a friend just so she would stay? I couldn't. I tried everything else, but I couldn't do that.

When I got out of the hospital, I was still pretty banged up. But I was well enough that I asked KJ and Jay if they wanted to go to a haunted house hotel. BAAAAD IDEA. I'm still having nightmares from it...

Jay didn't want to go, but KJ was all for it. Mel apparently had overheard us, and someone had been comforting her in the kitchen. I can't even remember who now. But I went in to ask if she wanted to go, and she fought with all of us. She yelled at them, and they yelled back. I yelled at them all, saying that Mel's attitude was my fault and to let me deal with it. She wouldn't talk to me. So KJ and I left her to mope. She can be so stubborn.

Anyway, KJ and I dragged Jay to the hotel, but as soon as we put her down, she flew off. Smart idea. Wish I had done it. KJ and I went in anyway, and God was it torture.

We heard sounds, a chandalier tried to kill us, KJ saw her dead mom, I was smothered nearly to death by something, some voice told us several times over to get out...I'll never forget it. We tried to run out the front door, but the ghost or whatever blocked it. So I thought "it's phase KJ and yourself out, or you're screwed". So I did. I grabbed her, and we phased through. She was okay. But me...not so much. It seemed to take forever, getting through that wall. And every millisecond was absolute torture. It burned so bad. I got out quick enough for KJ, but not for me. My clothes, hair, skin, everything was singed. Well...my skin was burned nearly to the point of being nonexistant in some places.

I told KJ to run, to get the heck away from the hotel. She dragged me, and, with my burned wings, we flew back to the school. There, she healed me up. She was so weak after that...I felt so bad. I let her rest before dragging her to a shower to clean herself up. She needed it.

She wanted me to join her, too. And...I did. That's two girls now. After we...you know...we went out and played Truth or Dare. There were a lot of kids there, including Parker. After the game (which I just lost The Game. crap), when KJ had gone to bed, Parker pulled me aside. I wanted to go to bed too, but, before I could, he...kissed me.

For several seconds, I just stood there, frozen. I didn't kiss back, but I didn't pull away. I couldn't do either. I was too shocked to react. Then my body just sort of melted, and I guess I kissed him back. Though...I didn't want to.

That's when KJ ran down the steps and saw us. Two of the guys she liked. Kissing. In front of her.

We pulled away, but it was too late. Parker and I appologized all over the place. That was when she chucked the things at us. Our Christmas gifts. Mine was the most beautiful bracelet I've ever seen. I pasted a picture of it in the back of my journal. I felt so bad, but she stormed up the stairs and went into the girls' dorm before I could reason with her. So I went to bed as well.

We've made up now, I think. I'm not sure if she really forgives me...her eyes don't look like she has. But she doesn't seem too mad. Not mad enough that she can't be near me or anything. And for now, that's okay. She has a right to be mad. She has a right to want to kill me, I suppose. As long as it doesn't last forever, I'm fine with however she reacts to...that.

Well, I guess I better get started with the Christmas shopping. Early bird catches the worm. Or, fallen angel catches the good prices. I'm too tired to sound funny...[/center][/font]