Mood: Apathetic

[Mortimer Edison]

Diary

Okay, so I finally told her. I don't know why the fuck I did, but it's not like I can take it back now. I mean, I'm pretty sure I do love her, but something just doesn't seem right. And something she said got at me. Something about me being heartless. I just... I dunno. I always thought demons were meant to be like this, but it's like I'm the only one here who is. Shit is fucked up.

I still don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do about Kjara, either. Something tells me that as long as she's around drama will follow, but if I kill her too soon that Dani bitch will jump straight down my throat, and I don't know if I can rely on Dai to give me backup just yet. I should ask her about that.

She seems to get really jealous every time she sees me with another girl, though I guess I can't blame her. Doesn't she realise it's just setting them all up? If I have to stop fucking around I guess I have no choice... but I don't think it's come to that yet, thank fuck. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

TO DO LIST

• Dai.
  
• Xio.
  
• Convince Jay I'm a good guy.
  
• Kill that fucking Dani chick.
  
• Kill that Adrien dumbass.
  
• Kill Kjara.
  
• Kill Blake.
  
• Kill Jay?
  
• Kill Jackson.
  
• Seduce/kill Sammii.
  
• Take Ez back to the US Kill Ez and hang his body up in the hall.
  
• 
  
• Profit.
  

[Mortimer Edison]

That fucking bitch is going to burn. Her and her little boyfriend. She has no idea what I'm going to do her, and I'm gonna love every fucking second of it.

...It's all because of the fight I had with Ez. It's like he was looking out for Dai. What the fuck? They're supposed to be demons, for fuck's sake. Oh, by the way, turns out I really don't have a heart. Or I didn't. Ez stabbed me. I thought I was about to die. But I didn't. I didn't die. There wasn't anything there. There wasn't anything fucking there! I suppose I should be feeling lucky, but I just feel fucked up. All this time I really didn't have a heart. What's up with that? ...I guess demons really do work differently.

But yeah, I have a heart now. Ez's. When I realised I didn't have one I just naturally grabbed for his. I don't know why. But now I'm regretting it. I'm not the same person I was before. Everything hurts so much more. Like fucking Xio. It was like she knew about the heart and decided to drive a dagger through it. Apparently she "loves" Evan, even though he cheated on her, and he's gonna do it again too. Doesn't she fucking see that? Well whatever. I hope she enjoys the time she has left with him.

I saw Jay after. She came to my dorm. Don't know why. But I felt strange around her. She forgave me for fucking around. Why the fuck she did that I'll never know, but she did. Then we kissed again. And we slept together. Like, literally slept together. I've never done that before. But it made me feel like shit. I thought it'd make me feel happy, but it didn't. I couldn't stop thinking about Dai. I mean, I did this for her, didn't I? I still haven't seen her yet. I don't know if I want to. I'm afraid my heart will burst out of my chest. Well, Ez's heart. I hope he's still alive. I still want to make him hurt. I'm getting excited just thinking about it.

[Mortimer Edison]

Did I ever mention I bought Jay a turtle for her birthday a few weeks ago? I truly outdid myself on that one. ...Maybe I should buy a pet for Dai. I haven't seen Frankie the turtle in ages though. I wonder if he's alright? I got attached to that little guy.

[Mortimer Edison]

Me again.

I really wish Cara hadn't come here. Things were meant to be simple. I only came here for Ez. Then I found Dai, and that was probably the best thing I could've wished for. Then I found myself a heart, and it let me give her what I couldn't before. And then, a day later, she strolled in. If it was any other time she would've been a quick fuck and then she'd be next on the list. But no. This heart stopped me, because it knew I'd just hurt Dai. And then she banned me from sex for ten days, and that only made Cara more determined to get her claws into me. Somehow I managed to get through that unscathed, and after some coaxing Dai finally made us official. I didn't tell Cara about Dai's hesitation. I don't know what would've happened if I had. I can't blame Dai for being unsure, though. I mean, with all that shit I pulled with all those girls, who could blame her? Still, I can't say it didn't hurt. That's the shit thing about this stupid lump of flesh. Everything hurts. Cara gets upset, I hurt. Dai gets upset, the heart wants to jump out of my chest. And every time someone takes a shot at me, it hurts. That never happened before. Ever.

So, apparently Cara's pregnant. With squirrels. Can you believe it? Squirrels. It's a long story; she's a shifter and some horny male decided to store his nuts in her. The strange thing is that if it were anyone else (beside) Dai I would've laughed and mocked them. Well, not to their face, but I still would've. But I don't know how I feel about it happening to Cara. I mean, I love Dai, right? That's what Ez's heart is telling me, at least. Is this all a lie that even I'm buying? For fuck's sake.

I took Cara to Eurodisney. I haven't even taken Dai there. We hid inside the love boat ride and poured our hearts out... well, Ez's heart. She told me that back home she only ever got with guys who were hammered or stoned, and that she thought her parents hated her or something. She seemed so suave and together, but I guess she's just as fucked up as everyone else in this place. Dai hasn't said a word about what her life was like before this place. That bothers me. I mean, sure, I haven't said anything about it either, but aren't girls supposed to ask about that kinda stuff? Doesn't she trust me? I thought she would by now. Anyway, I told Cara about taking Ezra's heart. I haven't even told Dai that. Cara said I should give it back. She said she wanted to know the real Mort and not some fake one with someone else's heart. She's right. This is too hard - it hurts too much. Hell, I'm barely even the same fucking guy.

I told her I'd give it back. Everything will be best that way.

...Still, I should tell Dai what's happened before I do anything else. She's my girlfriend now, she deserves to know. She'll still love like be mildly attracted to me, right? Right? There's only one way to tell. I just hope I don't do anything stupid after it's gone, like screw Cara. Maybe I could get Dai to agree to a threesome? ...Yeah, I didn't think so. At least being heartless again will make playing Cara easier. I mean, she hardly flinched at the heart thing, or when I told her I killed people. Maybe she could help me out a bit? ...Ugh. Why does everything need to be so damn complicated?

I fucking hate shifters.

mort ♥'s dai

[Mortimer Edison]

mort ♥'s dai mort ♥'s dai mort ♥'s dai
mort ♥'s dai mort ♥'s dai mort ♥'s dai
mort ♥'s dai mort ♥'s dai mort ♥'s dai
mort ♥'s dai mort ♥'s dai mort ♥'s dai
mort ♥'s dai mort ♥'s pie mort ♥'s dai
mort ♥'s dai mort ♥'s dai mort ♥'s dai
mort ♥'s dai mort ♥'s dai mort ♥'s dai
mort ♥'s dai mort ♥'s dai mort ♥'s dai
mort ♥'s dai mort ♥'s dai mort ♥'s dai
mort ♥'s dai mort ♥'s dai mort ♥'s dai
mort ♥'s dai mort ♥'s dai mort ♥'s dai

Well... as much as a guy without a heart can.

...She really needs to put out sometime soon.

And maybe make me a sandwich.

Mort.

[Mortimer Edison]

I fucked Dai.
It was great. Really, really great. Why the fuck did she wait so long? I wanna do it again. Also, she said she loved me just before we started. It was the first time too. Is it weird that I said it first? I mean, it was when I had my heart, but still. Isn't it usually the girl who says it first? I hate love. I got this fuzzy feeling, though. In the middle of the sex. And her saying she loved me. It was good.

But now to business.

Ezra's sister (her name's Tia) is fucking Jackson. This is bad. I was supposed to be fucking her. Well, only once, just enough for Ez to get pissed. I could've just told Dai that I got really drunk and then suck up to her. But no. Fucking Jackie had to get in the way.

...Still, I could use this to my advantage. I heard Ez talking about breaking Tia and Jack up, then killing Jack. If I play my cards right, I might be able to make this into a Romeo and Juliet situation. And if not, I can just play on Ez's guilt of killing his (ex?)best friend. Then I kill Sam. Then Ez.

...It's not as good as Operation: "Plow Ez's Hot Sister," but I guess it'll have to do.

Oh yeah. I put that Parker guy in the hospital and gashed his boyfriend's gut. That was fun. Apparently it triggered Dai and Kaden to make some sort of deal, though. Dai protects Parker from me, Kaden protects me from Cara. Or vice-versa? I dunno. Somehow I think Dai's more concerned about me than she is Cara. At least I hope so.

Anyway, that's about it. Talk to you later.

P.S. I want to be Death. Not even kidding. If you're reading this, buddy, you better watch your ass.
[Btw, this and the next post are out of bounds, Han. <3]

[Mortimer Edison]

Become one with the Sins' crimson.

You will then be one step closer to me, Mortimer Edison, he who wants to be my successor.

Lust
Wrath
Envy
Greed
Gluttony
Sloth
Pride